


Exposed

by gabrielleabelle



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Comedy, Experimental, Gen, minor characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-14
Updated: 2009-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-02 17:32:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabrielleabelle/pseuds/gabrielleabelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stay tuned for our in-depth report on vampires on The Truth in Myths...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exposed

**Author's Note:**

> I really have no explanation for this. I think it explains itself. It's a bit of an experiment in format for me. Please enjoy. :)

**Throckmorten:** Hello. I'm Jack Throckmorten. Thank you for joining me this week on _The Truth in Myths_.

{Stock footage of: vampire films}

**Throckmorten:** Vampires! Creatures of the night. The concept of this myth goes back as far as Ancient Greece and Mesopotamia. The dead reanimated by mystical forces, drinking blood in order to sustain their unnatural life.

But is there any truth to these legends? We'll take a look now at two very promising sites of possible vampire activity: the former Sunnydale, California and the nearby Los Angeles.

{Stock footage of Sunnydale}

**Throckmorten:** Sunnydale was a small town in Southern California. Several months ago, it was wiped out in a massive, unexpected earthquake. Former residents of this city have some...interesting stories.

{Interview with Scott Hope}

**Hope:** Living in Sunnydale was always an adventure. I mean, everybody just knew there was weird stuff going on. You didn't talk about it. (Shrugs) One of my best friends in high school got killed by _something_. Nobody's really sure what, though I bet it was a vampire. I definitely believe they exist. I went to Sunnydale High. I'll believe in anything, you know?

{Interview with Nancy Aufranc}

**Aufranc:** I don't know about vampires, but Sunnydale was _not normal_. I went for years just laughing at all the stories that went around, but then my bastard ex-boyfriend got turned into some giant worm. Yeah, I moved after that. There's something wrong with that place.

{Interview with Sophie Roth}

**Roth:** Yeah, I was at a party one time, and there was a guy there with really weird skin. He said it was a disorder, but I don't know. I have a cousin with a skin disorder and it doesn't look like that. Plus, there was a demon at the party, and none of us could leave for some reason. My mom got worried. I didn't see any vampires, though.

{Interview with Marvin Westman}

**Westman:** Vampires exist. I've seen them. Back in high school I was...I was an idiot, okay? I thought it'd be cool to be a vampire. A friend of mine and I got a group together and made a deal with some vampires in the area. It was _the_ most terrifying experience of my life. They don't look like they do in movies. They don't look human at all. They're like demons. All bumpy and nasty. They're monsters. I was lucky. I was saved by...well, by someone. My friend, though, Ford, he didn't make it. They killed him.

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** Fervent believers in the Sunnydale Legend. This small town didn't just stop at vampires. Odd occurrences appeared to be commonplace there. Strange diseases like a town-wide case of laryngitis were rampant. And some even make claims that _demons_ were a common sight at night. What was it about this small town that attracted these mythic beings?

{Interview with Tucker Wells}

**Wells:** It's not that complicated. My brother has the inside scoop on it, actually. Listen, there's a mouth to Hell in Sunnydale. The city sat right on top of it. Evil spews out of the Hellmouth at a regular rate, and it just makes things nuts. The entire city had to cave in on itself to close the thing.

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** Not that complicated? Some people have a different theory.

{Interview with Reverend Sam Johnston}

**Johnston:** The town was an abomination! Overrun with minions from Satan, himself! There was Evil there. The children blew up the high school. Normal, God-fearing children wouldn't do that. But God showed his wrath when he struck the city down finally to end the reign of terror.

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** City of the Devil? Or is there a more mundane explanation?

{Interview with Amy Madison}

**Madison:** I can't believe people still tell those stories about Sunnydale. They're ridiculous. There were no vampires. There were no demons. It was a normal, boring small town. Yeah, the high school got blown up. That was a gas explosion. People are always trying to put some supernatural explanation to perfectly normal happenings. I don't get it. I lived there my entire life, and I never saw anything out of the ordinary.

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** Nothing out of the ordinary? Perhaps the final word on that should go to the owner of the local club, The Bronze. He has a slightly different story.

{Interview with Keith Hill}

**Hill:** Listen, I didn't typically ask questions. I ran my business and didn't get involved with the chaos. But there _was_ chaos. I can't tell you how many repairs I had on that place. And insurance never covered it! One time, this huge ogre or troll or something came and knocked down the support beams to the balcony! It's like...when you see something like that, what are you supposed to believe?

And, yeah, there were vampires. There were always vampires. We had a bit of a problem for a while with dead girls always showing up in the back alley, blood totally drained. Then seven or eight years ago, you got less of that. They were still around, they just didn't feed as openly as they used to. But they were still there. Hell, I could spot some of the regulars. What could I say, though? "Hey, you're a vampire. Get out of my club?" Nah, you just give them their drink and hope they don't hurt anybody.

It was just the untalked-about secret in town. Everybody knew. Nobody discussed it. You just picked up the pieces and moved on whenever something happened.

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** "Pick up the pieces". Yes, vampires and other demons left their mark on the small town of Sunnydale. But vampires aren't isolated to just that one town. Wolfram &amp; Hart is a prestigious law firm that has branches worldwide. Rumors are, though, that the branch in L.A. is run by a vampire.

He goes by the name of "Angel", and is notoriously difficult to find information on.

{Interview with the personal assistant to the Los Angeles County District Attorney, Casey Kidd}

**Kidd:** Oh, he's definitely a vampire. Everybody knows that. Wolfram &amp; Hart has always had some demon influence, and they recently handed over their L.A. branch to Angel. They buy otter blood in bulk. We've found the receipts. You just can't deny it. Plus, what kind of name is "Angel", anyway?

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** Unfortunately, we weren't able to get an interview with Angel. However, we were able to have a few words with his secretary, Harmony Kendall.

{Interview with Harmony Kendall}

**Kendall:** Please, Angel a vampire? That's just silly. I mean, I know people think, oh law firm...must be evil. But hello! Have you seen all the windows in that building? Any vampire would be all dusty trying to work in there. Duh.

Besides, it's not such an evil job. I don't know why everybody thinks it is. And vampires - if there are vampires, and I totally don't think there are - might want to try to be productive members of, like, society and stuff. So why not let them work? And criminals need legal help, too. This _is_ the U.S., you know?

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** Strong words of denial from his secretary. Words that are, perhaps, mirrored by former L.A. detective, Kate Lockley.

{Interview with Kate Lockley}

**Lockley:** I worked with Angel on several cases back when he was a private investigator. The guy isn't a vampire. I don't have any further comments.

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** But should she be believed? Lockley was fired from her job on the LAPD shortly before a suicide attempt. She is, perhaps, not the most reliable of witnesses. Certainly not as reliable as local resident, Justine Cooper.

{Interview with Justine Cooper}

**Cooper:** Yeah, Angel's a vampire. A nasty one, too. He's been around for a couple centuries and killed a lot of people. A whole lot. Listen, vampires are rampant in L.A. Don't take my word for it. Ask the street gangs. They know. You gotta learn to protect yourself or you'll end up soulless, like them.

Carry a stake, a cross, holy water, and _don't go out at night_.

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** Chilling words. Is there a vampire infestation in L.A.?

{Interview with the owner of the Joie de Vivre bar, Omar Lopez}

**Lopez:** Of course there are vampires. They're all over. You just don't talk about them. Listen, one time just a few days ago I had this guy in here, drunk out of his mind. He looked the type, too. Long trenchcoat and weird, bleached hair. I dunno. Something about him just screamed "vampire". And it wasn't long before he was talking to me about how hard it is being a vampire with a soul or something like that. Whatever that means. I cut him off after that. I figure a drunk vampire's a pretty bad thing, even with a soul.

{Cut to Throckmorten}

**Throckmorten:** Vampires in L.A., heading up major law firms, visiting bars. Could they be near you? Perhaps someone you know is actually a vampire.

Coming up after the break, European vampires. It seems Latin is actually an _undead_ language.

***

"Angel's office."

"Harmony," Buffy said through gritted teeth, turning down the volume on her TV. "Let me talk to Angel. Now. I need to ask him why the hell I didn't get the memo that Spike was back."

_fin_


End file.
